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It has been 15 years since I last received flowers from my husband so I was overjoyed when he gave me flowers last Mother’s Day. Yep, after all these years! I finally got one.
Actually, there was a time when he would give me flowers on special occasions, from courtship all the way to our 2nd year of marriage. I guess it stopped when I inadvertently blurted out after receiving a beautiful bouquet of tulips “Nyak! Flowers sayang sa pera! Sana kinain na lang natin yan!” (Flowers what a waste of money! We should have just eaten with that money)
And he did just that, he stopped giving me flowers and instead taken me out on special occasions. And the very practical mom in me liked that, for awhile. Somehow though, in between those 15 years, I suddenly had a longing to be given flowers.
And so I waited for 15 years to be given flowers, until I came across the book “The Empowered Wife” by Laura Doyle. Ok, this is not a sponsored post ha! I just want to share with you guys how the book helped me in developing a more intimate relationship with my husband.
She said, we can roll our eyes as much as we want, but truth is our partners just really want to please us. Ergo, “our wish is their command.” I said, “What a waste of money! We should have eaten instead!” I got that, right?
Takeaway #1: Our husband/partner wants to please us.
She also said you have to communicate your deepest desire and make it specific. Now that I come to think of it, I have not communicated to my husband that I wanted flowers. I was just hoping that he would feel that my special occasions are incomplete when I don’t receive flowers! Patawa di ba? (Funny right?) But I think nature natin mga (us) girls yung we think if our husband/partner really loves us or knows us, they would know what we want. Well, well, hindi sila ganon (they are not like that).
So before Mother’s Day I gave my husband a hug and told him “I want flowers! The flowers will really, really make me happy!” And just like that, he did! Grovers!!!!! All these years of waiting ganon lang pala ka simple! (it is just that simple)
Takeaway #2: Communicate your deepest desire to your husband/partner and make it specific.
Remember, make it specific! Hindi pwedeng (cannot be) “I want to feel loved!” They are not psychics who know what we want.
Ok so I got the flowers and then I can’t help it! My bad! I asked him how much he got it! O di ba intimacy killer! I have a florist kasi and I wanted to tell him he can get it there for ¼ of the price he got mine and nicer pa! See, I already forgot some parts of the book.
Takeaway #3: “If your husband offers a gift that isn’t quite right for you, keep in mind that if you reject a gift, you’re also rejecting the giver.”
There was really no need for me to go into the details and ask how much he got it right? But well, the practical me couldn’t help it. And when he said, “Sabi ko na nga ba (I knew it), I should have not gotten it. I knew you would say that!), I remembered takeaway #3 and saved the day, by rushing to him and giving him a great big hug I almost carried him! And said “Erase! Erase! Thank you! The flowers really made me so happy!”
And that my friends was how I got my first flowers in 15 years! Hope the next one won't be after 15 years again;-)
Just in case you are interested to get the book, I got it in Amazon.
