Your Honor Please

 

Being a parent representative,   I helped facilitate a recollection for parents whose boys will have communion this year.  One of the topics discussed was sacrifice.  Particularly,  what sacrifice/s have you done for your children?

There are different levels of sacrifice – qualifying the intent behind the sacrifice.  Do you sacrifice because you have to?  Because it would look good on you? Because society says it so?  Because it will temper the guilt?  The deepest form of which would be done out of pure love – no ifs, no buts.

As I reflect on that recollection,  I was sure the endless tutoring and teaching is one of my major sacrifice.  Sacrifice means unconditional love.  Sacrifice is giving without expecting anything in return.  And I realized,  tutoring them to death though it sounds selfless has turned into my self affirmation.  They get honors,  I affirm my worth.  As a stay at home mom,  their academic successes or failures became my calling card. It was a hard pill to swallow,  and tears flowed as I realize the horror I must have become.

I realized, that if it is their welfare I am truly concerned with, learning with or without honors is what truly matters.  This realization has been my constant battle for years!  It is hard wired in me that to try your best is equal to 10/10.  And I’m sure it won’t come as no surprise to you that tada – I’m not an honor student myself.  As most speakers would often joke, statistics say the non-achiever parents are the ones who push harder.  Again, another self serving interest,  I want my children to achieve what I didn’t .

My mental anguish and my everlasting bane – your honor please – requested and will still work on it,  but not getting it will not crush my world and especially theirs anymore!:-)

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