How to make your Husband get you Flowers

It has been 15 years since I last received flowers from my husband so I was overjoyed when he gave me flowers last Mother’s Day. Yep, after all these years! I finally got one.

Actually, there was a time when he would give me flowers on special occasions, from courtship all the way to our 2nd year of marriage. I guess it stopped when I inadvertently blurted out after receiving a beautiful bouquet of tulips “Nyak! Flowers sayang sa pera! Sana kinain na lang natin yan!” (Flowers what a waste of money! We should have just eaten with that money)

And he did just that, he stopped giving me flowers and instead taken me out on special occasions. And the very practical mom in me liked that, for awhile. Somehow though, in between those 15 years, I suddenly had a longing to be given flowers.

And so I waited for 15 years to be given flowers, [Read more...]

Married Couples and Valentine’s Day: Should we even celebrate it?

Valentine'sBack in my single days, Valentine’s would have my stomach in knots in anticipation of what my then-boyfriend-now-husband has prepared for the day. Which restaurant would he take me to? Do I get tulips or roses? Now, married with 3 kids, Valentine’s is just another regular day save for the man on the street selling those heart shaped balloons and restaurants offering dinner set menus.

Frankly, after the birth of my kids, I haven’t been a great fan of Valentine’s. I mutter about the commercialism and horrible, horrible traffic it brings. My husband and I both agree it’s absurd that we will squeeze in with the crowd and get jacked-up set menus in restaurants. So I shrug it off and won’t mind a bit if my husband treats it as just one regular day, just as I would.

Something tripped in my middle-aged brain though and I turned really melancholy with the absence of the attention I previously wouldn’t have minded. I suddenly ached [Read more...]

Mommy Friendships

friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: "What? You too? I thought I was the only one!" by CS Lewis

I stumbled upon this quote and thought OMG this is what my mommy friendships are all about.  Sharing those, "what you too?" moments that makes us reach for the oxygen when our kids are not in their sunny best and those "awww" moments that makes up for it.

Over the years since I have become a mom, I have forged new friendships to include my circle of moms from my son's school and daughter's school.  I have also forged friendships with my fellow bloggers, mostly moms as well.

Having a cup of coffee or enjoying brunch that turns into merienda is like going to the doctor for therapy minus the chair and fees. I tell them the truth.  The truth that my kids are not perfect, I'm not perfect but we all try.  And like a pint of my favorite gelato it always makes me feel better.   It tells me that we all have our great moments as well as the shameful ones when we blow our lungs out or cry like the frustrated 3 year old we are taking care of.  And it isn't that awful because they excitedly scream, "OMG!  What? You too? I thought I was the only one."

Read my post on: Shouting is the new Spanking

When parenting seems to be just so hard just remember, maybe 99% of the parent population is having it just as hard:-)

P.S. Guys TheGoMom has an Instagram (@thegomom) account and I hope you can join me there too.  Pleassse:-) I promise to give you guys insightful, informative and relatable posts to look forward to.  Appreciate it!

Trapped Between a Scream and a Hug,

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Post-Valentine’s Date, anyone?

As part of my bring back romance drama,  I organized a post-Valentine date this Saturday with my husband and his barkada and their wives at Urbn and K-Pub, both at the same area at the Fort.  I thought I would share with you guys that the Side A and Freestyle Concert in K-Pub at the Fort still has 5 tables available  The tickets are only P500 and each comes with 2 complimentary beers or cocktails.  Nostalgic fun yet easy on the budget date, right?

Screen shot 2014-02-19 at 2.47.59 PM

We are going to spend a bit though on dinner at my current fave resto, Urbn Bar and Kitchen. The ambiance is hip and they have very good food. The place picks up around 11 as it turns to a club/bar.

Image from www.manilaafterhours.com

Image from www.manilaafterhours.com

urbn crispy duck leg

I love Urbn's Crispy Duck Leg with Mushroom Risotto. The duck is fried with the right crispness without drying the meat.  And the risotto is flavorful and has the right consistency. I like it so much this is my third dinner there in 2 months, considering I'm not a night person, that is a lot.

urbn manchego souffleIn some reviews they highly recommended the Mancheggo Souffle but I didn't really think it was that great.  I can't even remember how it tasted,  maybe my palate is not cultured enough:-)   Their desserts were good but nothing to rave about.  I tried the salted caramel cheesecake and their chocolate lava.  Their house wine though is very good, especially paired with the duck.  Budget P1,000/head.  On the bar drinks,  do not order melon-pineapple mojito, it tasted like bubblegum.  Their original mojito flavor is good.  I didn't like much of the bar chow:(  We ordered homemade potato crisps and fried mozzarella.

K-Pub BBQ

Address:  28th Street cor. 5th Avenue, Bonifacio Global City, Taguig (The Fort Entertainment Center)

Telephone:  +63.2.847.1961, +63.2.847.3098, +63.917.821.4930

Urbn Bar and Kitchen

Address: 3rd Floor, Fort Pointe II Building, 28th St. BGC (Formerly Pier One), Bonifacio Global City
Telephone: +63 917 564-9333
Dress code:  Dress to impress, hehe, whatever that is.

According to www.manilaafterhours.com, always dress to impress. Girls can dress up sexy or stylish and guys should wear a shirt, jacket or polo shirt (it needs to have a collar or you won’t get in). Males have to wear a collar. Jeans & sneakers will be allowed upon the managements discretion. Always make it in time for the guest list.

Disclosure:  Nothing to disclose.  This is not a sponsored post.

Reality of Romance in Marriage

Deadline here.  Tutoring kids there.  Work stress now.  Dealing with kids later.  The whole day does get crowded with a loooong list of things to do, who has time for romance?

I don't.  My husband doesn't.  And I think 95% of people who are married couldn't agree with me more.

As much as I would like to squeeze in a date night every week, as what magazine articles have been harping about,  we just couldn't find the time.  My husband does a lot of heavy, deep thinking, high stress work and he wants to chill the moment he gets out of it.  For my husbandry,  chill is  catching up on the zzzz's and spending alone time with his koi fish.  As for me,  I do a lot of high pressure, taking care of the kids and the household duties plus HR work for our business and writing on the side.  My chill time is going to the gym, reading a good book or hanging out with friends.  Where does WE figure out there?

The sad answer is nowhere.

Moreover, the conversations with our partners that were previously light and fun became discussions.  How do we deal with this child?  Do we give the maid another increase?  Should we transfer our investment to a less risky one?  Hebigats di ba?  (Heavy right?)  No wonder, each of us has chosen to find relax and happy time anywhere but with our partners.

And I'm not blaming it on anyone here.  Not on my husband, and not on me. This is the story of marriage, life gets in the way!

But while life does get in the way,  we have to put that effort to bring that romance back.   I don't want to be 60, kids have their own lives, finances hopefully secure, and stare at my husband and find not a single thing in common with him.  That would be a tragedy.

Fortunately,  tragedy when you see it coming can be averted.

Green Cross' Mommy Pros shared a practical list of ways to Keeping the Love Alive which you may want to check out.

Topping my list, no make that I will zero in on this is - "Next time, No More Next Time" on date time (the magazines are right after all).   I seldom cancel on appointments.  Our next "we" time will be an appointment.  Important. Non-negotiable.  We will take it slow.  Not a fancy dinner for two, we have to reconnect again first.  A movie.  A group date with friends.  A couples massage or facial.  A night run.  A concert.

It is hard to do.  Yes.  Where would you squeeze that time in?  But we have to start somewhere.  Build it up until the point that those dinner conversations inside or outside of the home can have sneak peeks of the light and the romantic.

Truth be told,  romance doesn't come easy in marriage.  It takes mindful effort.  But not impossible.

How about you?  Please tell me, I'm not the only one who is struggling with romance here.  Hope you can share me your thoughts.

Happy Valentine's everyone!

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Photo Credit: By flickr user ReubenInStt (flickr) [CC-BY-SA-2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons